BEAUTIFUL. A word, which has always been difficult for me to say, especially about myself.
Ever since I was young, I always thought of myself as being too ugly, too skinny, and too uncoordinated enough to play a sport other than running. I hated the fact that I had to wear glasses and often blamed my parents for the genes I inherited from them. I was covered with pimples for the longest time and it irritated every bit of me. I often blamed myself and my looks for never having a girlfriend.
Ever since starting yoga a few years ago, I slowly started to accept myself for who I was inside and out. But, still I did not see myself as being good looking.
I have never liked having my picture taken because I never saw myself as being good looking, handsome or beautiful.
I have always been attracted to the cute, polished, fashionable, and stylish women, who I always thought of as being way out of my league. How would I ever find myself attracting a beautiful women like that if I am walking around thinking so negatively of myself? Simply stated I can’t.
A few weeks ago I was thinking to myself, how could I ever go deeper into my spirituality and yoga practice if I could not come to terms with loving and accepting myself, including my physical appearance, for who I am. So I developed my own personally mantra, a positive affrimation, which included how beautiful I was.
I do not believe in the whole boys are said to be handsome and girls are said to be beautiful. The word ‘beautiful’ talks deeper to the essence of my soul and spirit than any other word. The Gods have always been described as being beautiful and if we are all a part of the Divine then simply put we are all beautiful.
Within a few days, I found myself not only accepting myself, but also seeing the beauty and essence of my being shining through. I even found that using Bragg’s Raw Organic Apple Cider Vinegar as a skin cleanser works wonders at clearing skin and bringing a naturally health glow to my face. And when I tired on my new yoga pants, the first thing I thought was, “Damn, I’m sexy and I know it!”. I do not care anymore if it seems girlish to see myself as being sexy and beautiful, it is just another aspect of my Divine spark shining through.
I think the biggest acknowledgment I made of accepting and loving my looks, was when I was talking with fellow yogis about me wanting to go to a 100% or close to it raw fruit diet. One of them asked me where I would get my protein. The first thing out of my mouth without hesitation, was that after 30 years I have come to realize that my body was not meant to put on more muscle and that I have come to love and accept myself for that.
I do not know if there is a cute, polished, fashionable, and stylish woman out there looking for a skinny, tattooed-covered, deeply-spiritual yogi like myself whose about to step out into this world to see what it truly has to offer and to find out who I truly am. I’ll let the Divine make that decision for me. But I do know one thing. . .
. . . If we are all a part of the Divine then simply put we are all beautiful.