Big Changes, Big Changes

“Take a deep breath. . . . And breathe.”

That is exactly what I was saying to myself, over the last couple of days, as I prepared to hand in my thirty-day notice at work.  I was nervous, anxious, worried, excited and unsure of the unknown all wrapped into one.  But, all along there was a calming presence from deep within me, steering the ship as we went down.

It’s like the Joseph Campbell quote, “If your falling. . . . Dive”.  It seems that all along for the last few months that this life, this part of my life, had to die in order for this new life, this sacred life to begin.  A spiritual act of transformation.  As I did my best through yoga and other works to clear out the old from within and without, gods like Kali, Hanuman and Shiva were in the background doing the same in order to make room for the new.

As I sat to meditate and pray Sunday night, I felt the urge to pick up and read from the Bhagavad Gita.  I randomly chose a page and read the first thing that caught my eye.  It roughly said things that are born must die and things that are dead must be reborn. Therefore, do not mourn the inevitable.  I felt an instant calming.

I needed that reading.  I even cried a few times over the last few days, as if I was mourning the passing of a friend or loved one.  But, in essence I was mourning myself and this old way of life.  Letting go of my fears, anxieties and worries, this lifestyle and the American-Dream of a 9 to 5 job, a family and a house with a white picket fence that was never really mine to begin with.  I always knew from deep down within I was meant to do something greater and travel the world.

As I handed in my thirty-day notice yesterday, it was as if a ceremonial changing of the guard took place within me.  The old fearful, security-driven me, that may have once served a purpose, saluted and handed over the reins to a new me, which has always been the real me waiting in the background to do its part.

I do not know what the future holds for me and quite frankly, I am okay with that.  All I know is that if I follow my heart and give myself to the sacred, then everything else will work itself out fine.  I’m not going to worry myself about money, jobs, and needing to be in a relationship.  If I follow my heart all along, then they will come with time.  It is time to go.  London is calling.

Here’s to letting go of the past.

Here’s to the future.

Here’s to following our hearts.

May the Gods, the Universe and the World hold us in their hands.

So that everything works out just fine.